The 1 THING You Need to Start

I can't join that gym, it's full of athletes.

He was in his sixties, a bit over five feet tall, and almost the same around.

He had a big voice, a huge personality, and an monstrous belly.

He lived large and had the profile to prove it.

He was my friend.

He bellowed at me from across the office: "I can't join your gym. It's full of jocks! I'm just going to join at the hotel across the street so I can have a steam and a glass of wine." 

Then he laughed.

Just start.

I was at the gym again this week.

The weight room was full of hockey players and yoga instructors. Young, lean, strong, fit.

Powerful kids doing complicated exercises with grace and ease.  

There was a older man working out with a trainer. 

He was 70? Maybe more?

He was 100 pounds overweight. Easy.

He was sitting on an exercise ball doing exercises under a trainer's watchful eye.

And he was sweating. Hard.

I could tell by the trainer's instructions this man was new to working out, possibly the first time he ever set foot in a gym. 

His movements were stilted and jerky. His breath was labored.

But here's the key: 

• He made up his mind. 
• He ignored the hockey players. 
• He asked for help.

And he started!

I don't know how to start!

I often advise people to just Start by Starting.

Somebody told me recently they don't know 
what...
...or how...
......or where... 
they are supposed to start.

I paused. 
And smiled. 
And this is the story I told her: 

Just start.

Many years ago our family construction company won a contract to build a courthouse. It was by far the biggest project our company had undertaken at that time. 

And we were nervous.

The project was just starting, and our foreman was staring at the mountain of drawings. He later told me he was paralyzed at the sight.

In that moment he heard a concrete truck, backup signal beeping. He poked his head out of the office window and yelled: "what are we pouring?"

"South stairs", the answer echoed back.

He opened the drawings and saw a plug in those stairs. 

He collected his materials.
He calmly walked across the site.
He installed one box for one plug.

With that simple action the project was started. 

You can't climb a mountain in one step.

As he retold the story years later our foreman described how he tried to build the whole building in his head, tried to eat the whole elephant in one bite. 

And it caused him to choke. 

But that first step... 
to install that first box...
broke his paralysis...
propelled him into action...
and put him on the path to climb the mountain. 

Start by starting. 

Now you.

What have you have been putting off? 
What is haunting you or daunting you? 
What is your first step to start?

• Dial their number.
• Draw the first sketch. 
• Type an opening paragraph.
• Approach that person.
• Send out your resume.

The first step is always the worst step. 

But no one ever won a race they didn't enter. 

I may start in the wrong place!

It sounds crazy but it doesn't matter where you start! 

It only matters that you start. 

It's possible - even likely - you will start off in the wrong direction. But the sooner you start the more time you will have to adjust your sails. 

And the sooner you will be celebrating at the finish line.

Just....start.

I'm going to the gym. 
Maybe that old guy will be there.

Sometimes it just sucks....But it won't always be like This

This is a post of celebration and gratitude.

For my emotional dawn is breaking.

After months in the dark I can finally feel myself starting to rise out of a period of blackness that took me to places lower than I had ever been before.

And now as life blossoms anew around me, I can feel life beginning to blossom once more within me.

What a feeling of rebirth, of relief, of delight. And what a long, strange trip it has been.

Three years ago... 

I was given the incredible opportunity and responsibility to lead a major contract as a part of the construction of one of the pre-eminent forensic crime labs in North America. 

The process, the journey, has taken me to the very edge of myself. I was pushed to my professional and personal limits....and then beyond those limits and anything I had previously thought possible for myself.

I was afraid. 

I have never been afraid before, not like this. There was something extremely vulnerable and transparent about being at the edge of myself. People near me saw my fear. They saw my anguish...despite all my best efforts to hide it. 

I learned I can't be proud and broken at the same time. 

I learned no matter how alone I felt, I wasn't.

So this is also a post of on-my-knees, tears-in-my-eyes gratitude to the people who have loved on me, cared for me, prayed for me, and waited patiently for me as this journey wound us around some incredible heights and through some treacherous valleys. 

More amazing still than reaching the finish line of my personal marathon was finding this team of beautiful individuals waiting there with blankets and water to nourish me, cigars and champagne to celebrate with me.

You can't climb mountains by yourself.

Through this whole adventure one of my greatest lessons has been this: you can't climb mountains by yourself. You need a support team whom you can trust implicitly. 

• Who will never give up on you. 
• Who will love you the way you need to be loved 
• Who quietly stand beside you when you feel all alone. 

And you will need to trust them when they tell you the truths you can't (or don't want to) see for yourself. 

For we are made to live in community. If you want to go fast go alone; if you want to go far you will need a team.

Winter is over. Spring is come.

I am sitting on my porch.

The magnolia tree in front of me is in full bloom.

The breeze is cool and fresh.

The sun is warm and life-giving.

My journey is coming to an end.

Your journey may just be beginning.

Or maybe you are in a place that just plain sucks.

Here are my encouragements to you:

• Know you are capable of more than you think you are. 
• There is room to grow between your perceived limits and The Limit. That space in between is where your true greatness lives.
• Find your team. There are people who love and believe in you, and you do a disservice to both them and yourself if you withhold the opportunity for them to actively love you through your journey.
• It won't always be like this. Keep moving forward. Lean into the headwinds. Remember, every step forward is a step closer to the finish line.
• And from my finish line I am cheering for you.

If my story reminds you of your path, please contact me. I would be honored to connect with you and talk about your story with you.

Right now I'm just happy to be back among the living.

Your friend,

Tim

Faith and Fear

I was standing in line at the butcher this morning, waiting to pick up our Christmas turkey, when I overheard this:

Wife: So Helen is thinking about going to Spain in the new year. She wants to see historic Europe. The only thing holding her back is that she is afraid of being converted.

Husband: What?!

Wife: In her words "I fear for the eternal condition of my soul."

Husband: What?!?!

Wife: She is afraid she is going to be converted from her faith. She told me "Maybe if I don't go into any churches or talk to any priests then I can't be converted." Apparently she thinks you can catch religion like a virus.

I concealed a laugh behind a cough.

But the more I thought about this story the sadder it made me. Poor Helen is shackled by a tragic condition: she believes in her convictions, but she is not convicted by her beliefs. She knows where her faith lies, but she doesn't know whether her faith can stand. Helen is prepared to skip one of the most beautiful countries in the world out of fear that a man-of-faith might play three-card-Monty with her beliefs.

I wonder how many of us struggle with this very fear condition: whether in the leaders we follow, the organizations we join, the teams we lead, or the life choices we make. Is our faith, belief, fortitude strong enough to carry us through the inevitable valleys? Or do our emotional knees buckle under load, leaving us lying face-down in the muck of life?

I love working with new entrepreneurs as they start their journey into the world of business ownership. One of the most wonderful attributes of all new entrepreneurs is their self-confidence, that innate self-belief telling them while 90% of new businesses fail they will be in the majestically successful 10%. And they must believe, for without that abiding faith in themselves as the exception to the rule there would be no entrepreneurs at all.

And so it is with this courage and strength and fortitude they take that bold first step.

It doesn't take long - it never does - before the unwavering self-confidence starts to flag. The first month revenues come in at half of the most conservative projection, the expenses come in at twice. Their contractor suddenly finds asbestos (or a cracked boiler, or structural damage) and the renovation costs end up grossly overrunning the budget. And their printer just misspelled the street name on all of their marketing materials, sending all potential traffic to the other side of town.

Right about here is where the questions start: do I believe in what I'm doing? Is my belief in this vision enough to see me through? Do I believe in this more than I'm afraid of failing?

Fear sets in.

Please understand, this is a reasonable fear. This is a healthy fear. If properly understood and channelled this can even be a motivating fear. But if left unchecked it can become a paralyzing fear, preventing you from seeing the beautiful sights of Spain. The choice is yours. The question is how will you respond to this fear?

Fear and doubt are not optional. It is the ability to fully see and accept them, and then manage them, that affects the outcome.

Unbridled optimism to the exclusion of pragmatic fear leads to disillusionment.

Unchecked fear to the exclusion of courageous optimism leads to paralysis.

Understand your faith, understand your fears.

Leverage both emotions to maximize your chances for success.

Helen will never know how strong and abiding her faith may be unless, and until, she is willing to test it.

It's ok to be afraid. It's not ok to be too afraid.